A conversation with a cold sales caller...

[fleetfootmike]

Me: (picking up phone on my WORK line which is not in the phonebook) Mike Whitaker
There's a pause, and a click. This usually spells cold sales caller.
Voice: Could I speak to Mrs Whitaker, please?
Me: I'm afraid she's not in.
Pause.
Voice: Could I speak to Mr. Whitaker, please?
Me: Speaking. (thinks: this would be why I answer the phone 'Mike Whitaker', yes?)
Voice: (obviously reading off a script) I represent the airline Ryan Air.
Me: (interrupting) Is this a sales call?
Voice: I'm sorry?
Me: Are you trying to sell me something?
Voice: No, sir.
Me: I see.
Voice: What it is, sir, is that you and your family have been selected by Ryan Air to have an opportunity to apply for the Ryan Air credit card...
Me: Excuse me.
Voice: (continuing with script) This card would give you...
Me: *EXCUSE ME*.
Voice: Sir?
Me: I asked you if this was a sales call. You are evidently trying to sell me a credit card. I would prefer it if you didn't lie to me. Good bye.
.

Comments

[megamole.livejournal.com]

Apparently, according to a.f.p., the thing to do to mind-fuck these people is to *pleasantly* ask them what company they represent.

[fleetfootmike.livejournal.com]

and this tortures their poor brains how?

[megamole.livejournal.com]

Because they don't usually want to tell you, in case you take them to court.

[occams_pyramid]

I used a shorter version:
"Sorry to disturb you but . . ."
"If you were sorry to disturb me you wouldn't have done so. I object to being lied to." Slam.

But the telephone preference thing does seem to work. (Though I do dislike having to *apply* to be permitted to go about my business without them hassling me). I went on that months ago, and have had one call since - with of course the perfect justification for being *extremely* rude to that caller!

Very quick and easy at TPS

[billroper]

Yup. I had essentially the same thing occur with one of the credit cards that I use with them trying to sell me credit insurance that would pay if I got laid off.

Yesterday, I had to tell a nitwit from a mortgage company twice to put me on their do not call list before she hung up. Mind you, the second time, I shouted.

[keristor.livejournal.com]

I've been on TPS list for ages:

Me: "Have you heard of the Telephone Prefernce Service?"

Caller: "Er, no"

Me: "Please connect me with your supervisor, I have urgent information about a court case involving your company..."

I'm normally polite (it's not the droid's fault), but if the supervisor actually gives me name and company the fun really starts...

Occasionally if it's a young lady I'll do some mild flirting. "Sorry, I'm not interested in $product, but are you free for dinner tonight?" Actually, sometimes not so young, one was a grandmother who said it was flattering to be asked out by a "young man" (which flattered me) but she had a heavy date with her husband...

[plaid-dragon.livejournal.com]

I still get cold calls for the previous occupants, who had the same phone number but were not ex-directory. Annoyingly, I am now getting cold calls myself, and I _am_ ex-directory. Usually they come from a call centre farmed out to India, and I am finding that the only way to stop them talking is to hang up on them. Politely asking them to go away doesn't work, neither does tight civility, nor downright rudeness. TPS sounds like something I need to investigate.

Yesterday's little gem...

[fleetfootmike.livejournal.com]

Voice: Good afternoon, Mr. Whitaker. I'm calling from Kitchens Direct...
Me: Let me get this clear. You're calling me to sell me something. On a *Sunday* afternoon?
Line goes dead.